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BlackAdder Goes Forth.  Baaaaah!

  M: BlackAdder, this is Bob.  (Bob is a girl, disguised as a bloke)
  E:  It's a funny name for a girl, sir.
  M:  Yes, it would be a funny name for a girl, but it's a perfectly normal name for a strapping young lad like  Bob, eh Bob?
  Bo: Yes sir.
  M:  Bob should be a great help, He has a marvellous sense of humour.
  E:  He, sir?  He, he?
  M:  See, you're laughing already.

  E:  Bob, you're a girl, and you have the same talent for disguise as a giraffe in sunglasses trying to get into a polar-bears-only golf club.
  Bo: I just wanted to be like my brothers, I wanted to see how a war was fought
so badly!
  E:  Well, you're in luck Bob, a war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, chief of all the Vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside!
  Bo: Oh, I'll do anything for the services.
  E:  Yes, Bob, I'd keep that to yourself if I were you.

 
General Melchett, describing the second Concert Party.
 
M: The Three Silly Twerps were one twerp short...AGAIN!...the slug-balancer had turned into some feeble impression of Buster Keaton...

  B:  Coffee, sir.
  E:  Yes please, Baldrick, and try to make it taste less like mud this time!
  B:  Not easy sir, 'cos that's what it is.  I could add some sugar to take your mind off it.
  E:  But we ran out of sugar three weeks after we arrived
  B:  I know, but I've been using dandruff instead.  I could put in some milk though...well, saliva...
 

Even More Quotes from this series

E-Mail the Hoopy Adder with questions, corrections and presents
Baldrick, get scrubbing.  By the end of the day, I want that dining table so clean I could eat off it Mrs. Miggins from the pie shop is celebrating the occasion by baking a huge pie, in the shape of an enormous pie!!!! I may be as thick as a whale omelette... Look, there's nothing cushy about the Women's Auxiliary Balloon Corps.!!!
Visit HoOPy @lBo'S wACkY wEbPAge, and be amazed...at how rubbish it is.