E: BlackAdder B: Baldrick G: George M: Melchett D: Darling Bo: Bob H: Field Marshall Haige
G: I love good old Chaplin, don't you Cap?
E: Unfortunately, no, George. I find his films as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and then discovering there's a gas bill tied to it!
G: What do you think of Chaplin, Baldrick?
B: I find him as funny as a vegetable that's grown into a rude and amusing shape!
E: So you agree with me then. Not very funny.
BlackAdder is going through the set list of the Concert Party
E: So first we have corporals Smith and Johnson as the "Three Silly Twerps"...the big joke being there's only two of them
At the concert party, Baldrick is doing his impression of Charlie Chaplin. He is using a slug as a false moustache.
E: So how are you going to get that attached to your face?
B: I was hoping to persuade it to cling to my upper lip.
E: Baldrick, the slug is dead. If it managed not to cling onto life, I see no reason for it to want to cling to your upper lip.
Melchett has fallen in love with the leading lady of the Concert Party, who is actually George. BlackAdder is in his HQ, explaining to Melchett why he can't marry her.
E: And she was in such high spirits that she danced straight out of the trenches. And before I could say "Don't tread on a mine!", she...trod on a mine
M: OH NO!
E: Well, I say a mine, it was more a cluster of mines. And as she rocketed into the air she mumbled something...totally incomprehensible to me...something like "Tell him his little chipmunk will love him forever".
M: Oh howl...oh well, can't be helped, can't be helped More quotes